On Ordering In

To go by most cookbooks, ordering in is not a concept and does not exist at all. To go by the society as a whole ordering in is frowned upon. This is what slothful people might do or what infidels might do after sacking a city

But of course, ordering in has an immensely valid and noble place within the repertory of the ordinary good enough home cook. Knowing when not to cook is definitely a skill that calls for as much emotional maturity and self-belief as cooking itself. To begin with, to be able to order in, one needs to learn to like oneself first – and accept that sometimes, we so deserve to let other people help us. One has got to come to terms with the concept of dependence – and the validity of our one’s own feelings of tiredness. Perhaps one’s simply done enough for now and need us at Mellow Thai & Mo:Mo King do the work for a while.

Asking for help, accepting that one can’t do it alone, is at times a truly helpful piece of self-knowledge. One is admitting to oneself that we can be exhausted, drained, or fed up and that this does not necessarily mean that one is lazy. Maybe one just got into a bad and bitter breakup, maybe one just got fired, maybe the day at work was especially taxing, maybe you had trouble sleeping last night…When one goes to the door to answer the delivery guy, one is taken in by the idea that one is entitled to be looked after sometimes.

One can, from time to time, skip certain duties and still be honorable, likeable, acceptable human beings. One should never feel embarrassed to admit one’s weaknesses to others. Imagine that some good old friends are coming around for dinner and inasmuch as one would love to cook something special and marvelous to impress and fascinate them but one is just plain exhausted and maybe, even feeling sorrowful and tearful. All one wants is to curl up in bed and be held. What should one do? Because most of the time one operates under the punishing idea that our friends will like us only if we are at our very best, which here might mean cooking lamb chops or other dishes with composure and triumph. But one is forgetting something crucial to friendship. One’s friends like us despite, as a matter of fact, almost because of one’s imperfections, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, failings even. Being devoid of flaws only leaves them intimidated and threatened. One’s friends would prefer to connect with our vulnerability than be in awe by one’s caliber. One’s superiority might win one admiration but revealing one’s broken ordinary self is the only way to build strong and long-lasting friendships.

One should dare to take one’s friends into ones dim kitchen, dressed in a worn-out shirt and jeans, with tear stains around one’s eyes, and announce without being humiliated that a large bag of Chicken Cajun Salad, Pad Thai, Pad Kee-Mao, and Lamb Chops is currently on its way from Mellow Thai & Mo:Mo King…

That is, in the deepest sense, the beginning of genuine hospitality.